


Yearning for more than a blue day

by Treehouse



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: 75 Dates In The Skam Universe, But also not, M/M, Smut, brunch date, different first meeting, it's not as angsty as the summary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 23:31:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20054338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Treehouse/pseuds/Treehouse
Summary: He really should leave while Isak is still asleep and spare him the awkwardness of waking up beside Even. Spare himself the shame when Isak recognizes him.





	Yearning for more than a blue day

**Author's Note:**

> Behold my contribution to the **75 dates in the Skam universe**! My prompt was "brunch date" - squint and you'll miss it, haha! I love challenges like this, thank you very much [theskamlibrary](https://theskamlibrary.tumblr.com/) for organizing it! 
> 
> Also, thank you so much [Immy](https://skamskada.tumbl.com/) for looking this over, and thank you Irazor and Tina for helping me solve certain... problems while writing. You're the best! <3
> 
> Title from Anthony and the Johnsons.

He really should go. Sneak out while there’s still time, when there’s no one awake to see him leave. 

His clothes are still on the floor where they ended up last night and Isak is fast asleep beside him. 

Isak. 

Finally, the universe worked in his favor, the right planets aligned and all that. He got to go home with Isak. He got to _ kiss _ Isak, kiss those lovely lips and put his nose in the junction of Isak’s neck to finally breathe him in and undress him and for one night, he got to have it all. All of Isak. His sounds, his smell, his skin against Even’s skin. Isak’s hands around his wrists, his fingers when he slowly worked Even open, his moans when he came deep inside of Even. 

Because that’s what it feels like, like he’s got it all now, with Isak fast asleep next to him. The duvet bunched around his hips, one arm stretched above his head. Skin pale and smooth, muscles lean and firm. His breathing is calm, his lips slightly parted and his hair just as golden and curly as Even remembers it from school. 

Yesterday he got to touch it, run his fingers through it. 

He really should go, Isak probably doesn’t even remember him, probably took him home believing he was just some random guy, someone he found attractive after a couple of beers. 

He never would have if he knew.

Or maybe Isak just didn’t see him at school? 

No, that’s impossible. Nissen isn’t that big, and the rumors. The rumors were all over the school, he knows that, is sure of it. Everybody _ knew _. 

He probably should leave this town, get a fresh start somewhere else. Like he’s thought countless times. 

Maybe this is Oslo’s way of saying goodbye, its parting gift? That he finally got to hold Isak, like he’s dreamt about for years. And now there’s nothing left here for him. 

He really should leave while Isak is still asleep and spare him the awkwardness of waking up beside Even. Spare himself the shame when Isak recognizes him. 

It’s just that he _ can’t. _Not just yet. Not when the first rays of golden sunlight are illuminating the room, giving Isak’s skin an almost dreamlike glow, making his locks shimmer and the small hairs below his navel almost glint. 

Fuck. 

His mind wanders, unsolicited as always. What if he could have this? If Even was allowed to wake up with Isak in his arms again, or to make him shiver again by running his tongue along the soft inside of his thighs, to hold him after a long day at work, or to hear him laugh because Even said something funny. 

It will never happen, he and he knows it. 

But right now, he tries to take it all in, the smell of Isak’s sheets, the mess on the desk over by the window, the shadow Isak’s lashes cast on his cheek. Even turns slowly, has to look closer, uninterrupted before he leaves. 

When he moves he can feel all the places where Isak touched him last night. How some of his muscles are stiff, how he’s still wet and almost sore. He hopes he’ll feel it for days, almost wish Isak had been rougher with him. But of course, he wasn’t. Of course, Isak was gentle and loving and caring, surely making the ache inside of Even even harder to get rid of.

He just wants to look for a few more minutes and then he’ll go. 

* * *

When he wakes up, he’s comfortably warm. Someone’s holding him close, snuggled up against his back with an arm around his waist and warm breath against his neck. 

_ Fuck _. 

He must’ve fallen asleep again and now the room - Isak’s room - is bathed in light and Isak will no doubt wake up if he tries to leave. It must be late morning now, there’s traffic and voices outside on the street and Isak has evidently opened the window to let in some air. 

It’s funny how the thing he’s dreamed about for years suddenly has become real, but now, when he finally gets to wake up in Isak’s arms, he wishes himself as far away as possible. 

Isak is stirring, probably waking up. Holding Even closer, burrowing his face in Even’s neck and Even can’t breathe, doesn’t dare to move. They’re still naked since last night and there’s so much skin, so much warmth, and _ god _ how he wants to turn around and hold Isak as well, wrap his arms around him again. 

“Hi.” Isak’s voice is rough from sleep and he loosens the grip he’s got on Even slightly, but he doesn’t move away. Maybe he doesn’t remember who he brought home yesterday, maybe he was drunker than Even thought. 

“Hi.” It’s barely a whisper and Even knows he should turn around. Show himself. 

“You’re still here.” 

“Yeah, I’m – I was going to leave but then I fell asleep. Sorry.” 

“Oh.” Isak slowly removes his hand from Even’s waist. Does he sound sad? Disappointed? Even isn’t sure, and he isn’t sure of why either. “You don’t want to stay?” He clears his throat. “For breakfast?” 

Even turns around, this is a ridiculous conversation to have with one’s back against the other he thinks, and he’s mentally prepared for everything that he might encounter when Isak sees him, but not for this. Not for Isak to be looking at him _ like this _, eyes full of something that can only be warmth, with a small smile. He looks almost flustered.

He swallows, blinks a couple of times. Isak’s still there. “You want me to stay for breakfast?” 

Isak ducks his head, shrugs a little. “Yeah. If you want to.” 

Is he trying to be polite, to do the right thing? Or does he not recognize Even? He hasn’t changed much from when he went to school, but it has been a couple of years. Maybe Isak just doesn’t remember him. 

Even must have hesitated for too long, because Isak looks uncomfortable all of a sudden, turns on his back. “It’s okay if you want to leave, I just thought – “ He sighs. “No, forget it.” 

It’s already awkward and now is really the time for Even to just get up and leave, to discreetly pick up his underwear and pull them on while sitting on the bed and just exit the room with the rest of his clothes bunched up in his arms but instead he hears himself. “What?” 

“Nothing. I just thought you would have left.” Isak’s voice is flat.

“Yeah, we already established that.” It comes out harsher than intended and Even regrets it instantly. “Sorry.” He whispers, isn’t even sure if Isak catches it.

“I’m glad you didn’t.” Isak responds, almost as quiet as Even and Even has to draw a breath. 

_ What? _

“Do you – you recognize me?” 

“What?” Isak huffs a laugh, his head turned toward Even again. “Why wouldn’t I? It’s not like you were wearing a disguise yesterday? Or are you someone dressed to look like Even who went to Nissen?” He squints, looks at Even, smiling now. 

“But… we never – “

“ – talked at school?” Isak continues. “I know. I – I didn’t talk to many at all in school, to be honest. Especially not people like you.” 

Oh god. Here it comes. “Like me?” 

“Shit. Yeah.” Isak covers his face with his hands. “Hot guys. Like you. I was so freaking far inside the closet that – I don’t know. Uh, I don’t even want to think about it.” He pushes the hair away from his forehead. “Sorry, this is awkward now.” 

“No!” Even calls out, causing Isak to turn his head again. “No, it’s not. I just – I saw you too.” 

Isak furrows his brows. “Yeah?” 

“Yes.” He swallows. “All the time.” 

Isak turns toward him, lays on his side, one hand underneath his cheek. “Wow.” He smiles again. “I didn’t think you recognized me yesterday.” 

“Me neither.” 

“Well. I did. Instantly.” He inches closer. “And I’m glad you’re still here.” 

Even turns too, how could he not? Isak is magnetic and the way his eyes flicker between Even’s eyes and his lips makes Even almost dizzy. How can Isak not know? How is it that he wants Even to stay? He almost wants to ask, but that would be utterly stupid because of what is happening right now, with Isak slowly closing the distance between them. His movements are careful, almost as if he’s unsure of what Even wants, and when he thinks about it, he hasn’t given Isak any indication that he even wanted to be here right now, only that he was going to leave. 

Fuck it. 

He presses his lips against Isak’s, swallows the content sigh that follows and revels in Isak’s fingers caressing his cheek. It’s light, tender almost, both the kiss and the touch and when Isak deepens the kiss and puts his hand around Even’s neck, Even opens his mouth willingly. 

Part of him still can’t believe this is happening, but if it is, he’s going to savor it. 

They both edge closer to each other and soon there’s warm, smooth skin pressed up against Even again. Isak’s hand still around his neck, his fingers sometimes straying upwards, combing through his hair, but always returning to his neck, keeping him within kissing-distance. 

He lets his own hand wander, too. Over Isak’s shoulder, up towards his neck, his hair. Has to feel those thick, silky strands between his fingers again. And along his back, feeling the muscles move when Isak presses against him, when he puts his leg over Even’s hip and pulls him close. Doesn’t care to hide that he’s hard, _ he’s got nothing to hide _, Even thinks but loses that thought when Isak rolls on top of him, his strong arms on either side of Even’s head. 

Even looks up and Isak’s eyes are dark, the beautiful green almost wiped out by the black and Isak’s lips are shiny, his mouth open and Even never got to see his face this close before. This night it was dark, but now the room is light and Even could count the freckles on Isak’s nose if he wanted but there’s no time. 

Not when Isak kisses his neck and grinds down on him, moans with him when their dicks slide against each other, and it’s hot, so hot, their skin, their shared warmth, Isak’s pulse beating against Even’s lips. 

He puts his arms around Isak, holds him close, lets his hands map out the long line of Isak’s vertebrae, his shoulders, dips between his ribs. Spreads his legs to make Isak fit between them, like he did yesterday, like he should do, always. 

“Fuck, Even.” Isak says against Even’s neck, and Even isn’t prepared for his name to fall off Isak’s lips like that, not without warning, not filled with lust and awe like just now and he inhales shakily, lets Isak kiss his neck and his collarbones and feel his weight pressing him down, keeping him steady. 

Isak grinds down against him and Even meets him, moans with him again and again until Isak kisses him and their sounds disappear in between their mouths. He puts his hand on Isak’s ass and presses him even harder against his hips, the muscles strong and firm underneath his hand and he slides his fingers closer to the crack, close enough that he can sense the coarse hairs there, the warm skin. 

Even wants to feel it, to taste it and at the same time, he wants to feel Isak again. Wants to be able to feel him tomorrow as well. 

Isak shivers, and Even is braver the next time, lets his fingers run lightly between Isak’s cheeks and when he does it again, he stops midway, lingers just above the opening, can feel Isak twitch and hear his breath hitch when he taps it lightly. 

He doesn’t even know where the courage comes from, maybe it’s Isak rubbing off on him, maybe it’s pure desperation, a hunch that this is his only chance. 

“What do you want?” Isak asks, cheeks flushed and hairline dark from sweat, Even’s fingers still where they were a moment ago. He closes his eyes and sighs when Even presses against his opening again, tries to spread his legs but can’t, Even’s legs are in the way. “Fuck, please put your fingers inside me.” He moans against Even’s neck and Even nods. 

“Lie down.” He pushes at Isak who rolls over, lies on his back while Even stretches for the lube. He waits and looks with his hands above his head, like this is normal, comfortable, like he doesn’t have to pretend or even be nervous. 

He’s even more beautiful than Even remembers him to be, than he could have ever imagined. Chest and shoulders freckled, the dark hair in his armpits in stark contrast with the almost translucent skin on the inside of his arms. Pebbled nipples, chest heaving, his eyes never leaving Even. 

And Even leans down and kisses him, how could he not? Tastes the skin on Isak’s neck, on his chest, licks his nipples and let the dark tuft of hair under Isak’s arms tickle his nose. Isak giggles at that, but moans when Even wraps his hand around his dick, hand slippery with lube, sliding with ease up and down and Isak spreads his legs when Even continues downwards, his strong thighs on either side of Even. 

“Fuck.” Isak curses when Even’s fingers slip between his cheeks, making him wet with lube, and moans when Even pushes inside, one long slide until he’s past the second knuckle. 

Isak is tight and wet and warm around Even’s finger and he curses again when Even pulls out and pushes back in. Nods when Even puts a second finger beside the first and lets his head fall back into the pillow, moans at the added stretch. 

It’s completely mesmerizing, watching Isak like this. How he’s made himself vulnerable, open, in front of Even. How he just lies there with his eyes closed and his lips bitten red and enjoys himself.

Even can’t help but wonder how many others who have seen Isak like this. Who has been in this bed with him, woken up beside him? 

There’s no point in being jealous, he knows that. And he has no right to Isak. Not now, not then. But he’s here now. He’s here now, making Isak moan and shiver and clench around Even’s fingers and it’s everything. He’s almost shaking too, has to steady himself with his hand on Isak’s hip, stomach, leg. His hand fits perfectly wherever he puts it. In the junction of Isak’s hip and thigh, thumb pointing toward Isak’s groin. Around Isak’s waist, fingers against his ribs, feeling his ribcage expand. On his chest, heart beating underneath Even’s palm. 

“Even, Even.” Isak moans his name and Even’s chest fills with warmth, it’s making his heart beat irregularly. “Please.” Isak draws another breath. “Now.” 

Even must have stilled, zoned out or something, because Isak continues, almost as if he’s embarrassed. “We don’t have to, if you don’t want to, I – “ And that makes Even wake up, the insecurity in Isak’s voice. 

“I do.” He looks at Isak, at the most beautiful boy - man - he’s ever seen, and he nods as if to emphasize his own words. “I want to.” 

Isak smiles, huffs a small laugh again and wiggles to make Even withdraw his fingers. Stretches for a condom before he gets up on his knees and stands close to Even on the bed, his hand on Even’s cheek and it’s the softest Even has ever felt and they kiss again. 

“Can I?” Isak holds the condom up for Even to see and Even nods. His hands are slippery with lube, and he wants nothing else than for Isak to put his hands on him, if only for a practicality like this. Isak’s fingers are smart and gentle and he’s ready in no time, kissing Even once more before he turns around. “Like this?” 

He leans forward, puts his hands on the bed and spreads his legs, ass toward Even and Even just nods, shuffles closer to put his hands on Isak’s hips, down the outside of his thighs and up again. 

“Oh god.” 

Isak pants and groans when Even pushes inside, he’s going slow, his hands never leaving Isak’s back, sides, legs. As much for Isak’s comfort as for his own, Even thinks. He still can’t believe this is happening, that he is here with Isak. That Isak wants him here. And it’s not just about the sex, at least not for Even. It’s not just sex, it’s closer, more intimate, gentler. At least that’s what it feels like when Isak looks at him, when he touches him. 

Right now, he’s got Isak’s back stretched out in front of him. His head is hanging between his shoulders, and he’s pushing back, taking Even further inside, rocking back and forth until Even’s hips are snug against Isak’s ass. 

Isak moans again, sinks down on his elbows, arches his back and Even is almost glad that Isak isn’t looking at him right now. That would have been too much, too raw. 

And it’s not like this position offers less intimacy, Even’s never felt closer to anyone in his life when Isak moves a little and spreads his legs further, when he stretches his hand behind himself to feel where Even is buried inside of him. Or when Even leans forward to kiss Isak’s neck, his shoulder, putting his arm around Isak’s chest to support him when he starts to move. Tentatively, at first. Faster, when Isak spurs him on. 

He gets lost in it quickly, Isak too. It’s like riding a big wave that just keeps building and building the more they move together and when he reaches down to put his hand around Isak’s dick, they fall, almost instantly. Isak shakes and pants and clenches around Even, he moans when Even fucks into him hard, one, two, three times before he lets go, before he crashes on top of Isak, his heart almost beating its way out of his chest. 

They’re one big, sweaty heap tangled in the sheets of Isak’s bed, warm breath against Isak’s skin, still shivering from what just happened, from the way they came together. 

Even pulls out, minding the condom, letting Isak breathe without his weight on top. 

“Oh god. That was…” Isak turns around, draws his hands over his face. His cheeks are red, his forehead glistening with sweat.

“Did I hurt you?” 

“What? No!” He lifts his head to look at Even, and Even must look as insecure as he feels because Isak reaches out to put his hand on Even’s cheek. “It was amazing. So good. Shit, I – wow.” He laughs. “Sorry, I can’t really form sentences right now.” 

Even smiles, loves to hear Isak laugh, especially when he gets to experience it like this, first hand. “It’s okay. And it was.” 

“I still can’t believe we met yesterday. Again.” Isak moves closer, just a little, and lets his hand travel along Even’s neck, his arm, down to his fingers. 

“I still can’t believe you wanted me to stay.” It must be the sex, the closeness that makes Even lose his filter. Or Isak that is fogging his mind, running the pads of his fingers along Even’s hand.

“Hm? Why wouldn’t I?” 

And now he’s started to talk about it and he’s bound to continue, bound to destroy this - whatever _ this _ is. He sighs. “Uh, since – since you know who I am?” It comes out as a question, and Isak furrows his brows. Okay, he’s just going to have to say it. “Because of the rumors?” 

“What rumors?” 

“I – “ He can’t say it. Can’t repeat what Isak surely already knows, what’s been echoing through the corridors of every school he attended, circling around him like fucking vultures around a carcass, always following him, like a stench that’s impossible to wash off. 

Isak shuffles beside Even, props his head up on a pillow and looks at him. “As I said, I didn’t speak to very many people besides my friends in school. I – I kind of had other things to deal with. But I heard one rumor about you, actually.” He holds Even’s gaze. “You want to know what it was?” 

Even nods, although he doesn’t. He really doesn’t want to know. 

“That you kissed a boy. That you weren’t straight.” 

Even opens his mouth, but nothing comes out, and Isak continues. 

“And I wasn’t either, but no one knew that, no one could know that, you know? But it made me feel less alone.” He exhales. “And I’m sorry that I didn’t speak to you back then.” 

“It’s okay.” He wipes at his eye quickly, can’t believe what he just heard. Wonder if his sexuality was the only thing Isak dealt with at that time, or if there’s more. If he’ll get to know, someday. And if he’ll get the chance to tell Isak what he thought he already knew, but his version of it. “I’m glad you told me.” He pushes a strand of hair away from Isak’s temple, marvels at how Isak closes his eyes and stretches his neck a little toward Even’s fingers. 

It’s calmer now, inside of him. Even if he’s not expecting something big, or even something more than this, he allows himself to relax. To feel Isak underneath his fingertips, to trace his smile and the line of his jaw. He clears his throat, and Isak opens his eyes. “You… still want to have breakfast?” 

“Is it a date?” 

There’s a sudden whirlwind of butterflies inside of him, breaking the calm, making him tingle all over. Maybe he could do this? Maybe Isak would listen? Maybe this is him, finally taking control over the direction his life is taking? 

He shakes his head. “No.” Then he kisses Isak. “I think it’ll have to be at least brunch for it to count as a date.” 

“Yeah?” Isak moves closer again, puts his forehead against Even’s, and Even can feel him smiling against his lips. 

Even hums. “I know a place. If you’re hungry.” 

“I’m starving.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! <3


End file.
